And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
