At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
