i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
