I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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