Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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