How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
