Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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