We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize