there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
