So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
