So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
