It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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