Its about making memories worth repressing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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