Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
