my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
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She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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