I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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