he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
