Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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