I cannot find my penis.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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