People in love make me want to vomit
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
