I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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