READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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