just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
