They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The uberlube is also flammable
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
