Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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