Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
