remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
