I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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