Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
