i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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