I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
