This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her vagine was all disorganized.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
