If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize