Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
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Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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