life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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