and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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