strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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