weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
