a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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