You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize