I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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