does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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