Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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