Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The power of my boobs compel you
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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