Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
