Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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