Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
