I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
