Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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