return my video game
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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