I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize