Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
