you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
