Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
