i think i have herpe
just one?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
how does that bad decision feel?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
