i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
thanks...oh and i got my period
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.