Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
