I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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